Happiness vs joy

'How is it that you manage to keep smiling?'

This question was posed tonight during a brief conversation, and I suppose I understand why. Over the past few days, my family and I have faced the death of a person who is very dear to us. This has not been an easy time for us, and yet, as I was conversing tonight, my partner in discussion noticed that I portrayed happiness.

Social scientists know that there is a difference between joy and happiness. Joy is an emotion which is experienced, much as sorrow, anger and fear are also felt. By contrast, happiness reflects a much deeper reality. One can be happy overall without necessarily experiencing joy. Even if a person is facing situations that may conjure fear or other threatening emotions, it is still possible to possess an inward happiness.

My family and I have been very intentional about how we have grieved the loss of my grandmother, including our careful choices to include all members of the family in some way or other in the rituals and movements involved in saying goodbye. Because we have lived the many steps involved in the funeral liturgy: standing vigil at the bedside even at the moment of death, gathering to recite a novena of rosaries beginning on the evening of her death and ending nine nights later, taking time to tell the stories of our remembrances during the visitation and in private family time, welcoming others who themselves wanted to share their condolences, celebrating the Mass of the Resurrection with concious and mindful participation, and accompanying her mortal remains until the time that they were placed in the ground, all the while keeping our eyes focused on the One who has given life, and who calls us to live with Him, we can now go on, not without moments of missing her, but trusting that all is well and that we now continue the work she began.

A wise woman once counselled me to always find time to 'come in for a landing'. By this she meant that I should never forget the importance of prayer and that I should always find time for touching base with God. Keeping this contact current helps to keep life in proper perspective. At times when we neglect this truth, we run the risk of losing the serenity which comes with knowing that all things are done not for our own glorification but in service to others and for the glory of God.

Come in for a landing every day. Find a moment to simply acknowledge God's presence, and to ask for his help. This might only take a moment, but will definitely make a momentous difference in the way the day plays out. Doing so helps us also to find the true reason for our happiiness, despite whatever else might come our way.

Oh, and by the way, today's edition of ZENIT includes a report on the weekly General Audience that took place today, during which His Holiness invited young people to imitate Saint Charles Boromeo, whose feast day we celebrate today, by allowing Christ to have some input in their daily schedule. Young or (ehem) more experienced as we are, these words of wisdom can apply to us all.