This morning's General Audience began at 10:00am in Saint Peter's Square where the Holy Father met groups of pilgrims and the faithful from various parts of Italy and from all corners of the world.
During his speech, the Pope, continuing the cycle of catecheses on the family, focused on the theme of conflict in family life.
After having summarized his catechesis in various languages, the Holy Father addressed particular greetings to each of the groups of faithful who were present.
The General Audience concluded with the chanting of the Pater Noster and the Apostolic Blessing.
Dear brothers and sisters, good morning!
In the last catecheses, I have spoken about the family that lives in fragile human conditions: poverty, sickness and death. Today however, let us reflect on the wounds that exist within family life. That is to say, when the family itself has been hurt ... the most terrible of things!
We all know very well that in every family history there are moments when the intimacy between loved ones is offended because of the behaviour of one or more of that family's members. Words and actions (as well as omissions) which, instead of expressing love, detract from it or worse still, destroy it altogether. When these wounds, which are still curable, are neglected, they become worse: they transform into arrogance, hostility and even depression. At that point, they can become deep wounds, which can divide husband and wife, and lead them to look elsewhere for understanding, support and consolation ... but often, these support systems do not consider the good of the family!
In situations where there is an emptying of conjugal love, there often is resentment in relationships and such disregard can have the effect of a landslide on children.
Ah, children. I would like to spend a little time on this point. Despite our apparently evolved sensitivity, and all our refined psychological analysis, I wonder if we have not become anesthetized to the wounds inflicted upon the souls of children. The more we try to compensate with gifts and with snacks, the more we lose the sense of the wounds - the most painful and deep-seated wounds - wounds inflicted upon the soul. We speak a lot about behavioural problems, about psychological health, about the well-being of the child, about anxiety in the lives of parents and children ... but do we still know what a wound in the soul looks like? Can we feel the weight of the mountain that crushes the soul of a child in families where that child is hurt or where we hurt one another by breaking the bonds of conjugal fidelity? How much weight is inflicted by our choices - bad choices, for example - upon the souls of our children? When adults lose their minds, when everyone thinks only of themselves, when daddy and mommy hurt one another, the soul of a child suffers greatly: it feels like desperation. And these are wounds that leave their mark for an entire lifetime.
In the family setting, everyone is tied together: when the soul of a family is wounded in some way, infection spreads to everyone, and when a man and a woman, who are committed to be one flesh and to form a family, think obsessively about their own needs for freedom and gratification, this bias profoundly distorts the hearts and the lives of children. Many times, children hide so that they can cry alone. We need to understand this fact. Husband and wife are one flesh. But their creations are flesh of their flesh. If we consider the harshness with which Jesus warns adults to not scandalize the children - we have heard the passage in the gospel - (cf Mt 18:6), we can also better understand his words about the serious responsibility to maintain the marital bond that begins a human family (cf Mt 19:6-9). When a man and a woman become one flesh, all the wounds and all the abandonment of fathers and mothers affect the living flesh of their children.
On the other hand, it is true that there are cases in which separation is inevitable. Sometimes, it can even become morally necessary, when it is a matter of removing the weaker spouse, or small children, from more serious injuries caused by arrogance and violence, humiliation and exploitation, alienation and indifference.
Thank God that there are still those who, sustained by their faith and by love for their children, bear witness to their loyalty to a relationship in which they have believed, even when it seems impossible that it might be revived. Not all those who are separated however, feel this vocation. Not all recognize, in solitude, a call addressed to them by the Lord. Even in our midst, there are various families in so-called irregular situations - I don't like this particular phrase - and we sometimes ask many questions. How can we help you? How can we accompany you? How can we stay close to you so that your children won't become hostages of their father or their mother?
Let us ask the Lord for great faith, to be able to see our reality through God's eyes; and for the gift of great charity so that we can approach others with his merciful heart.
This teaching was then summarized in various languages and the Holy Father addressed each group of pilgrims. To English-speaking pilgrims who were present, he said:
I offer an affectionate greeting to all the English-speaking pilgrims and visitors present at today’s Audience, including those from England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Sweden, Australia, Indonesia, Japan, the Philippines, Vietnam, the Islands of the Bahamas, Canada and the United States. May Jesus Christ heal every wound present in the life of your families, and may he make you witnesses of his mercy and love. May God bless you all!
During his speech, the Pope, continuing the cycle of catecheses on the family, focused on the theme of conflict in family life.
After having summarized his catechesis in various languages, the Holy Father addressed particular greetings to each of the groups of faithful who were present.
The General Audience concluded with the chanting of the Pater Noster and the Apostolic Blessing.
Catechesis of the Holy Father, Pope Francis
for the General Audience
Dear brothers and sisters, good morning!
In the last catecheses, I have spoken about the family that lives in fragile human conditions: poverty, sickness and death. Today however, let us reflect on the wounds that exist within family life. That is to say, when the family itself has been hurt ... the most terrible of things!
We all know very well that in every family history there are moments when the intimacy between loved ones is offended because of the behaviour of one or more of that family's members. Words and actions (as well as omissions) which, instead of expressing love, detract from it or worse still, destroy it altogether. When these wounds, which are still curable, are neglected, they become worse: they transform into arrogance, hostility and even depression. At that point, they can become deep wounds, which can divide husband and wife, and lead them to look elsewhere for understanding, support and consolation ... but often, these support systems do not consider the good of the family!
In situations where there is an emptying of conjugal love, there often is resentment in relationships and such disregard can have the effect of a landslide on children.
Ah, children. I would like to spend a little time on this point. Despite our apparently evolved sensitivity, and all our refined psychological analysis, I wonder if we have not become anesthetized to the wounds inflicted upon the souls of children. The more we try to compensate with gifts and with snacks, the more we lose the sense of the wounds - the most painful and deep-seated wounds - wounds inflicted upon the soul. We speak a lot about behavioural problems, about psychological health, about the well-being of the child, about anxiety in the lives of parents and children ... but do we still know what a wound in the soul looks like? Can we feel the weight of the mountain that crushes the soul of a child in families where that child is hurt or where we hurt one another by breaking the bonds of conjugal fidelity? How much weight is inflicted by our choices - bad choices, for example - upon the souls of our children? When adults lose their minds, when everyone thinks only of themselves, when daddy and mommy hurt one another, the soul of a child suffers greatly: it feels like desperation. And these are wounds that leave their mark for an entire lifetime.
In the family setting, everyone is tied together: when the soul of a family is wounded in some way, infection spreads to everyone, and when a man and a woman, who are committed to be one flesh and to form a family, think obsessively about their own needs for freedom and gratification, this bias profoundly distorts the hearts and the lives of children. Many times, children hide so that they can cry alone. We need to understand this fact. Husband and wife are one flesh. But their creations are flesh of their flesh. If we consider the harshness with which Jesus warns adults to not scandalize the children - we have heard the passage in the gospel - (cf Mt 18:6), we can also better understand his words about the serious responsibility to maintain the marital bond that begins a human family (cf Mt 19:6-9). When a man and a woman become one flesh, all the wounds and all the abandonment of fathers and mothers affect the living flesh of their children.
On the other hand, it is true that there are cases in which separation is inevitable. Sometimes, it can even become morally necessary, when it is a matter of removing the weaker spouse, or small children, from more serious injuries caused by arrogance and violence, humiliation and exploitation, alienation and indifference.
Thank God that there are still those who, sustained by their faith and by love for their children, bear witness to their loyalty to a relationship in which they have believed, even when it seems impossible that it might be revived. Not all those who are separated however, feel this vocation. Not all recognize, in solitude, a call addressed to them by the Lord. Even in our midst, there are various families in so-called irregular situations - I don't like this particular phrase - and we sometimes ask many questions. How can we help you? How can we accompany you? How can we stay close to you so that your children won't become hostages of their father or their mother?
Let us ask the Lord for great faith, to be able to see our reality through God's eyes; and for the gift of great charity so that we can approach others with his merciful heart.
This teaching was then summarized in various languages and the Holy Father addressed each group of pilgrims. To English-speaking pilgrims who were present, he said:
I offer an affectionate greeting to all the English-speaking pilgrims and visitors present at today’s Audience, including those from England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Sweden, Australia, Indonesia, Japan, the Philippines, Vietnam, the Islands of the Bahamas, Canada and the United States. May Jesus Christ heal every wound present in the life of your families, and may he make you witnesses of his mercy and love. May God bless you all!
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