Like most of those who preside at weddings during summer (and on into the autumn of late), Friday afternoons and evenings are often occupied these days with rehersals for the happy couples who are preparing for their nuptials the following day. Rehersals are all about getting the movements right, standing on the mark, and saying the right words at the right time, but I often wonder what happens after the wedding ceremony is complete.
At the appropriate moment during the ceremony, the bride and groom will speak to each other (in plain and full hearing of all those who are present to witness this sacred moment):
'I ... take you ... to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad. In sickness and in health I will love you and honour you all the days of my life'.
These few words are packed with meaning and much cause for reflection, if a husband and wife take the time to reflect upon them honestly, and to share with one another the ways that they succeed or struggle with the commitment they enter into.
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad. Being true to my spouse means that I accept a duty to be faithful to my spouse. It means that I will stand by him-her no matter what happens, and that we agree to keep the lines of communication open. Too often, when there is no communication between spouses, the result can be disasterous, and the possiblities for fruitful marriage pale and then fade into the background. By contrast, where there is faithfulness and communication, the result is a deep respect one for the other, and an abiding love that endures through times of celebration as well as moments of sorrow and distress.
In sickness and in health I will love you and honour you all the days of my life. When things are going well, when everyone is healthy, when both have jobs, when friends and family are supportive, it's easy to love and honour another person, but when things go awry, as often they do, the true test of love can sometimes reveal a truth that is far from the ideal. On the day of a wedding, there is no guarantee that good health will be enjoyed for the rest of one's life, and at times, the suprises that can face us with medical challenges and other storms can be truly surprising. The true test of love is found in the responses we make to such challenges.
Even if health is not a concern, in some cases, loving and honouring a spouse can mean a willingness to stand by him or her even to the point of a willingness to grow in faith. The way that a husband or wife supports the decisions of faith made by their partners can be a source of great blessing but can also cause great amounts of stress. In recent times, there have been more and more instances of couples asking for marriage who do not share the same religious background. Even if they do, this doesn't guarantee that they have the same level of commitment or fervor for their faith, or that they both recognize the value of faith as part of their lives. This too can be a source of great joy, but can just as easily be a source of concern.
It's a good thing that humans can't predict what life will bring. Living life is meant to be an adventure, shared with others who are dear to us, but life doesn't come with any guarantee of happiness, nor of success. Instead, the lucky ones are those who are able to admit their failings and weaknesses, apologize for their wrongdoings and celebrate their successes. Life, well lived, teaches us to be humble. The faster we learn these lessons, the better off, the happier we'll be.
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